- Good! I find gratitude for the things in life going well.
- Meh. I need to spend less time looking at social media.
- Really? Dammit, why doesn't my <insert loved one's name here> understand- it’s not fake news!
- My answer: I am trying to be patient and remind myself; this will end. I just don’t have happen to know when. Truth be told, my success with this is highly variable. Some days are just better than others.
- Good! I disinfect my phone regularly.
- Meh. I can stop touching my face- any time I want.
- Really? Whatever. You can't smell me over Zoom.
- My answer: I shower every day. Well, most days. Wait, what day is it?
- Good! Produce is available – salad party!
- Meh. I eat snacks from bowls, not the bags.
- Really? Hamburgers, fried chicken, tacos, pizza, wee!
- My answer: Who makes a cake, in the middle of the week!? Apparently, I do.
- Good! Rom-coms and cute animal documentaries lift my spirits
- Meh. I re-watched Outbreak and Contagion. They really hold up.
- Really? I scream at the politicians on the T.V. A lot. Like all the time.
- My answer: I let my elementary school-aged children watch the 1980 classic, Blues Brothers. It has an R rating, but basically, it’s for language, which I reasoned isn’t anything they didn’t hear come out of my mouth back in the days when we sat in traffic. Besides, it’s never too young to start hating Illinois Nazis.
- Good! I take long walks and practice yoga daily.
- Meh. I stare at the treadmill in the corner
- Really? I broke up with my fitbit.
- My answer: I’m actually doing pretty good on this one. I get out for a brisk walk 3 – 4 times per week. I think walking in the middle of the street simultaneously serves to maintain proper social distance from the folks on the side walk and says, “F*ck you, car culture! I am no longer your slave!”
- Good! I put on clean clothes, just like any normal day.
- Meh. No one can see my elastic waist pants on video calls.
- Really? I lie about the computer camera not working and only wear a loin cloth.
- My answer: Leggings have become my go-to for pants. I think I can still button my jeans. Maybe. As my husband observed, this is going to be the first time in history when the population gets fatter because of a plague.
- Good! I take my herbs 2-3 times per day, just like usual. I feel great!
- Meh. When I remember, which is most days.
- Really? I lie awake at 2 a.m. and think about how there is Solid Eight in my cabinet.
- My answer: On advice of council, I respectfully decline to answer and assert my fifth amendment privilege.
Personally, I think a better way to inquire after someone's well being in these strange, strange times we find ourselves is, "Do you have enough toilet paper?" And then, if you have a square to spare, offer some yours.